Culture Shock: What should I do??

     Twenty-seven years ago (1983) my mother came to the United States to do what most people come to try and accomplish: to live the American dream. Well, that was one reason. My grandmother actually insisted that my mother leave her native country of El Salvador. At the time the people of El Salvador were in war with their government. To be honest I don’t know all the details behind this war and why exactly it happened, but my mom ended up here in NYC. Seven years later (1990) I was born. My dad wasn’t around so she ended up raising me with what many people call a “life partner”. I’ll just say girlfriend, even though it was a more committed relationship. As a child I was always around my “second mommy” and her son, who are Mexican. Even though my mom was born from two El Salvadorian parents I grew up in more of a Mexican household (I’m half Mexican so I guess that was good for me). When I hit my teenage years things changed and I became accustomed to my new Puerto Rican family, in other words my mom now had a girlfriend who was from PR. Now that I am an adult I realize how different the customs of each nationality really are. While I was thinking about what I should write about for this entry it came to my attention that there was one similarity between Mexican and Puerto Rican customs that confused me when I was young.
     I’ve lived in the US my whole life and I can honestly say I have never seen another American (that isn’t of a Spanish-speaking country) ask to be blessed ( by someone other than a priest). When I was younger I used to hear the children of my surrogate family, who were born in Puerto Rico, say “Bendicion”, which literally translates to “Blessing”. Whoever they were addressing responded with “Dios te bendiga”, translates to “God bless you”. I was a little confused because I had never heard this being done before. This custom never stuck with me but little did I know when I was 17 I was going to come across a similar situation. I started dating a guy from Mexico when I started school at Baruch and the day came when I went to meet his parents. As soon as we walked in to their apartment he walked straight up to his mother and put his head down in front of her. “La bendicion”. He had asked for her blessing. She began to make the sign of the cross. With her fingers she touched his forehead, his chest, his left should and his right. Than he kissed her hand. I was puzzled. I didn’t know what to do. Than it happened again, except this time it was his father. I had never seen this before, even when my “second mommy“ lived with us. I wasn’t even sure what to do. Was I supposed to do the same? I had never asked my mom for her blessings this way. I just stood in the living room doorway and waited for his mom to approach me so that I wouldn’t look out of place if I did something wrong. We ended up hugging. When it came time to leave the procedure started all over again.

     My boyfriend ended up telling me that every time he greets his parents and says goodbye he asks them to bless him. Well, to this day when we go see his parents house he makes sure to do so and so does his brother. Its been two years since I’ve been with him and I’m so used to seeing this that it doesn’t even surprise me anymore. Sometimes I get the urge to ask them to give me “la bendicion” but I would just feel weird because I have never done it before. There are also times when my boyfriends father almost gives me “la bendicion”. I guess (and I hope) its because I’m part of the family and he just sees me as more than just his son’s live-in girlfriend. Maybe one day I will follow my boyfriends example and ask for “la bendicion” from my mother. And maybe there are people from other countries who do the same, I just haven’t seen them, but this custom was unusual for me when I saw it for the first time. Until than I’ll just follow the customs that I am so used to, my American customs.